i want to give up and i want to hold on
i want to be right, i want to prove myself wrong
tell me i'm the one, tell me i'm so far gone
be on my side, say i'm out of my mind

take my hand or cast me away,
love me right or be too afraid
run away, please just stay
love me well or be too afraid

make sure i fall, then pick me back up
say what you want but don't try hard enough
you're not my kind, you're exactly my type
i never think about you, you're always on my mind

follow me or lead me astray
love me whole or be too afraid
be my conscious, tell me the way
love me outright or be too afraid

yar-har, yar-har.

           You are the captain of this ship. You know exactly what to do when the waters are rough, and then you steer us in the direction of calmer seas. I once drilled a hole in the bottom of our ship, and it sank. I tried to patch it up again and I did so with duct tape. But a new first mate came along and replaced it with wood. He would handle this ship better than I.

            I found that I was stranded out at sea so I swam to a lonely island. I went out searching every day for your ship, but I could never find it. I found a ship that looked a lot like yours, but I tore that one to pieces.

            I decided that I would become first mate of your ship, once I found it again. Still I was lost. I saw other ships but I knew that they were not yours. They lacked the class that yours carried and the control and supremacy the ship was made from. Your ship was powerful—not because of the way it was built but because you were in control. You were the captain.

            Once I finally found you, your ship was crumbling. You were unhappy with your first mate because he did not know what he was doing. He had robbed you of your confidence. The ship had lost its specialty, its distinction between common and rare. The one time you needed saving, I was going to be there.

            I bought you a new ship, one made of steel so it would not sink. One I couldn’t drill a hole in. This ship is unsinkable. Sometimes the water is rough but it will not sink. It is because you are the captain of this ship, and I am your first mate. Together we will keep this ship afloat.

trapped.

i am trapped by these four metal walls
theres nowhere to run and i cant get home
no way in and even less ways out
but my demons have found me and i am surrounded now

i tried to break the bonds so i could be free
i tried to silence the rest so i could sing
i tried to tear new holes so i could fit through
i tried to make it me so it wouldnt be you

i couldnt get up when i fell down
i needed help so i looked around
but no one extends their arm after taking a hit
no one washes the feet of the hypocrite

i cleansed myself so i could feel new
i begged for forgiveness for all that i do
but in the end corruption still reigns
at the end of the day people dont change

thank god it was me and it wasnt you
you are so pure, you are so new
so much better than i, you tell the truth
replace the one who is prone to lose.

it does get better.

you've waited a long time for something to come.

but still the feeling inside tells you that you can't be free.

look alive, hold your head high.

something good will happen.

things are going to change.

you've waited a long time for the sun.
but the clouds have been hiding your view for so long.
keeping looking up, it's going to come.

they can't stay forever that way.

you've waited a long time to stop running.
what are you running from? nothing is chasing you.
just try to stay put, and i promise no harm will come.

you don't always have to leave.

you've waited a long time to let everything go.
what are you waiting for? life doesn't stop.
things will get better if you let them.
it's life, and it gets better.

waiting to cave.

and who are you,

exactly,

going around and ripping the fabric of peoples lives?

you cannot fix it,

you are not God.

you cannot sew it,

you have no thread.

look at you,

you cant even fix your own life,

much less keep control of it.

but of course, it would be much easier to make people just as miserable as you

than to sit around and wait for things to cave in.

because once they do, you wont be able to rebuild it.

you are not an architect,

not even a builder.

you are the reckless car that crashes into the innocent civilian.

but you are not a doctor.

lessons from life.

people change.

relationships die,

souls take the hit.

you can roll with the punches

or you can choose not to,

but life moves on with or without you.

people lie

people sacrifice others

people do anything to avoid confrontation.

you could shrug it off

or you could let it affect you.

regardless,

life will go on.

time doesn't stop for anyone.

it doesn't really matter where you've been

or where you want to go.

time has no sense of remorse,

or compassion,

or sympathy.

lessons from life:

there are things you cannot change,

and there are things that you can; things that cannot control you.

if you let something possess you,

then life will pass you by.

within a minute, it could be gone.

do not be controlled.